“There were signs that maybe the fairytale that I wanted so badly for myself was maybe a different story altogether, but I didn’t think that it would turn into a horror show that would change the entirety of my worldview and make me question my longstanding faith in both humanity and science. I would have forgiven a lot, but I couldn’t forgive when I found out that he had fathered 65 children via sperm donation.”

A woman who asked to remain anonymous, shared with me what it’s like to find out, after a year of dating and Hallmark® like love story, that her prince charming donated his sperm, resulting in the live birth of 65 children. Her story—raw, deeply personal, and emotionally devastating—exposes not only the personal betrayal she experienced but also the systemic failures of an industry built on anonymity, financial incentives, little to no oversight, and a disregard for children, family, and others.

At the Center for Bioethics and Culture, we believe that stories like hers must be told, not only to expose the personal harm but to initiate public discourse and policy reform.

Behind the Numbers: 65 Lives, 65 Unknowns

In this case, one man—an educated, articulate, seemingly successful professional—fathered 65 children through sperm donation. These are not just numbers or statistics. These are children that will grow up to become adults. Children that will likely experience what is called “genealogical bewilderment” – a term used to describe the confusion, identity struggles, and emotional distress that arises when a person lacks the knowledge or connection to their biological origins.

“Sixty-five. Or enough to fill four elementary school classrooms.”

This staggering number illustrates a fundamental fault of the fertility industry. The fertility industry has few—if any—hard limits on how many times a single donor can contribute. The result? Dozens of biologically related children scattered across cities, states, and potentially countries—many of whom will never know they have a staggering number of half siblings. The risk of accidental incest becomes frighteningly real.

Is it Altruism or Arrogance?

“I searched for answers in subsequent messages to him – I reasoned, hoping he would admit his

wrong. He hadn’t needed the money – his college had been paid for, and his adopted father was

well-off. He’s never had lesbian friends, so it wasn’t a deep commitment to the lesbian

community that drove him. From our interactions, he never even particularly liked kids. I thought that if he would just admit the wrong, maybe there was the possibility for his redemption. He wouldn’t. He is seemingly happy with what he has done. Spreading his seed and making money was worth more to him than I was or am or his siblings were or are or any future partner or children he might have could ever be.”

This prince charming hasn’t been the only man to father an exorbitant number of children through sperm donation. Multiple documented cases show that some sperm donors have fathered 100 or more children. For example, Jonathon Jacob Meijer from the Netherlands is estimated to have over 550 children worldwide. Why? Is it altruism, financial need, or a broader cultural or psychological dynamic at play?

The man at the center of this story didn’t need the money; even though he would start teaching other young men how to donate sperm for money. He wasn’t personally invested in the well-being of the children he fathered. And he never expressed an ethical conflict about what he had done. Her words reflect a mindset that is disturbingly normalized in fertility markets: the detachment from the consequences of reproduction when it’s mediated by contracts, clinics, and cash.

A System That Fails Everyone

The impact of one man’s choice ripples outward, not only to the woman he deceived but to dozens of mothers, children, and future partners who remain unaware of the full story.

“There are 65 women who carried this man’s children for nine months… There are 65 families who trusted, desperately paid for, and were ultimately manipulated by a system that will cause them heartache and mental illness for the rest of their days.”

What is perhaps most disturbing is how completely this situation was enabled—not by one man acting recklessly, but by an entire system devoid of sufficient ethical guardrails. No mandatory psychological evaluations. No disclosure of medical or familial histories. No limit to how many offspring can be created. No tracking.

“Because of lack of due diligence by the government, medical boards, and everyone involved in this system that they call ‘Big Fertility,’ they will not be able to live their lives freely because they will need to be on guard so as not to commit incest.”

This is not responsible medicine. It is commerce disguised as care. This is grotesque.

Ancestry, Trauma, and the Legacy of Secrets

Prince charming’s own background includes allegations of abuse involving his biological father and a pattern of unstable paternal figures. The implications of this genetic inheritance—both medically and psychologically—are unknowable to the 65 children conceived through his sperm.

“Now, there are 65 children out in this world who will one day find out that their biological father is severely psychologically troubled, that their biological grandfather might very well be a pedophile…”

When a fertility clinic accepts a donor, what obligation do they have to screen not only for physical health but for mental and emotional history? For behavioral red flags? For family trauma that could be passed on—not only genetically but as a matter of identity and legacy? How will the children born of gamete donation have a full and accurate picture of their health and well-being?

Today, there is no uniform standard. And the consequences are generational. Fortunately, some states are ending “anonymous” gamete donation, but laws are changing at a snail’s pace and children won’t be able to gain access to important records until they reach adulthood. Until then, donor-conceived adults are finding biological family through company’s like 23andMe® and Ancestry®.

Fertility’s Gothic Portrait

“The curtain had dropped on my Hallmark movie and revealed it to be a front-row seat to Dorian Gray’s rotting and festering portrait.”

This haunting metaphor is no exaggeration. While the public sees hopeful headlines about rainbow babies and loving families formed through assisted reproduction, the attic contains secrets that society does not want to confront: commodified children, anonymous fathers, traumatized donor-conceived adults, and a booming industry largely left to self-regulate.

“It is tied into history with slavery, rape as a method of war, eugenics, and who knows what other evils.”

Her comparison is uncomfortable—but it’s not ungrounded. Any system that allows one person to create 65 human lives with no accountability, no relationship, and no oversight must be, at the least, interrogated.

The Call to Conscience

At the Center for Bioethics and Culture, we ask: When did we become comfortable turning human reproduction into a transaction? When did we accept that children could be brought into this world without any concern for their origins or identity?

We must end anonymous gamete donation. We must set strict limits on the number of children one donor can create. We must implement full background checks and psychological screenings. And most importantly, we must re-humanize a process that has become disturbingly clinical, commercial, and cold.

This story is one woman’s heartbreak—but it is also a cultural alarm bell.

The question is: will we listen?

Author Profile

Kallie Fell, Executive Director
Kallie Fell, Executive Director
Kallie Fell, MS, BSN, RN, started her professional career as a scientist in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Vanderbilt University Medical Center utilizing a Master of Science degree in Animal Sciences with an emphasis on Reproductive Physiology and Molecular Biology from Purdue University. While assisting in the investigation of endometriosis and pre-term birth, Kallie simultaneously pursued a degree in nursing with hopes of working with women as a perinatal nurse. After meeting Jennifer at a conference, Kallie became interested in the work of the Center for Bioethics and Culture and started volunteering with the organization. It is obvious that Kallie is passionate about women’s health. She continues to work, as she has for the past 6 years, as a perinatal nurse and has worked with the CBC since 2018, first as a volunteer writer, then as our staff Research Associate, and now as the Executive Director. In 2021, Kallie co-directed the CBC’s newest documentary, Trans Mission: What’s the Rush to Reassign Gender? Kallie also hosts the popular podcast Venus Rising and is the Program Director for the Paul Ramsey Institute.